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Dark Places

I’m wrapping up my latest adventure into the horror genre with Dark Places! This is a collection of short stories I have written that span over a few years. I decided that it was time to do a few re-writes on some of these and have added a couple of new ones to the book. The newest stories are St. Albans, a story about Anna and her night spent in one of America’s most haunted locations, and From Bourbon Street to the Bayou where anything can happen in the Crescent City and the haunted swamps around it. The book cover below is not the actual book cover. I did a survey with some of my readers to pick the book cover, and I’ll be updating this site with that cover art soon. Stay tuned for a release date!

Tales From the Sunset Pub NOW AVAILABLE!

Tales From the Sunset Pub had a July 1, 2017 release on Amazon and is available in paperback for $9.95 and Kindle for $3.99.

When an eccentric collection of friends and neighbors come together because of their love of good conversation, adventure and cold beer you get this odd and varied collection of exploits called Tales From the Sunset Pub. This collection of short stories covers multiple genres as it takes you on a wild ride following the usual suspects that call the Sunset Pub their second home. Along the way sweet liberty is rediscovered, the secrets of the universe are revealed, love has been won and lost, and souls saved! Well, that might be a stretch but it depends on who you ask. Tag along in this adventure that takes you from the dirty jokes from bartenders, to the savage world of war in Vietnam, to the heat and debauchery of Las Vegas. These fun loving characters will put a smile on your face. Tales From the Sunset Pub is the place where Cheers meets The Hangover, with one wild tale after another.

This book is dedicated to all my pals in Cincinnati that used to frequent the pub. I’ve made friendships with these nefarious savages that I hope will last a lifetime! Thanks for the inspiration to finally get around to writing this book. Click on the book cover below to go to Amazon. Cheers!!

A Man Called Doosh!!

A Man Called Doosh is finally available in paperback! Click on the photo below to be taken to Amazon to view the book. Would greatly appreciate a ranking and comment from those of you that have read it. Much appreciated. Thanks so much for following my page and my work and for those of you that haven’t read this book yet on Kindle, I hope you’ll check it out and leave me a ranking and comment on Amazon. Thanks!

 

POT OF GOLD NOW IN PAPERBACK

Pot of Gold, the hilarious road trip comedy, is now available in paperback on Amazon for $9.95. If you buy the paperback you automatically get the Kindle download for free. I hope you’ll take advantage of this, and be kind enough to leave me an honest ranking and comment on Amazon.

Next in paperback is A Man Called Doosh, another comedy that will have you laughing all the way through. Tales From the Sunset Pub, a multi-genre book, is currently in the editing phase and I hope to see that one in paperback and Kindle within the next month or two. Thanks for following me here and on my social media accounts and check back often. Much appreciative of your support. Click on the photo below!

 

Bedtime Stories For the Terminally Afraid

I finally have my collection of horror short stories available in paperback. This is a revision of the early drafts, having went through several rounds of edits to help make this a better version than the one previously released for ebook.

Here’s the Amazon description:

Discover the twisted tales of Bedtime Stories For the Terminally Afraid by Cyrus Alderwood, one of today’s most unique storytellers. This varied collection of macabre stories leaves you dangling somewhere between the edge of your seat and the edge of your mind.

You’ll find endings you never saw coming in these shorts that include stories about hauntings, demonic possessions, ancient folklore, murder beyond the grave and the craziest vampire story you will ever read, among others. Alderwood’s unconventional style will leave you looking forward to his next book!

Click on the image to go to the Amazon link. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you dig the short stories! Please be kind and leave me an honest ranking and comment on Amazon. Much appreciated!

I Barely Survived That Vicious Beast!

So I’m driving on I-75 just north of Lexington, KY on Friday. Traffic is kind of heavy and moving fast. I’m doing about 76 in a 70 zone. That’s when I felt it. IT!

I glanced down just briefly and saw a big ass spider crawling up my left leg. Thankfully it wasn’t the leg I was using to smash down the gas! I immediately wanted to start thrashing about, but I realized that traffic was too heavy to do anything stupid behind the wheel. I didn’t want to be “that guy” that caused a pile up over a spider. So, instead of being completely freaked out I start smacking my left leg against the door to try and shake this vile creature before he crawled into my leg and took possession of it. I still feel it! But wait, a hour later it was gone. Well, more like a couple of seconds but that felt like an eternity.

So I drive along…normal, once again. Until about ten minutes later. Now I’m doing 82 and traffic is very heavy and I’m in the fast lane. This insane creature hellbent on my destruction is now crawling up my shirt at a pretty fast pace. Now I seriously want to freak out because I swear it looked as big as a tarantula, but only much smaller. I quickly reach over to hit the button to lower the window. My plan is to flip this nefarious human killer off of my large gut and out the window. Boy am I a smart one!

But…slight problem. I didn’t notice that the window only went halfway down. I’m in bumper to bumper traffic and trying to keep my eye on the road. I prayed to the good Lord and even tried to summon the power of Grayskull (ya know, He-Man stuff) and I flipped that monster right off of my shirt. I had no idea the power of that creature. It must have somehow got into my head and caused me to angle the “flip” just enough to suit it. It bounced off the window and landed right on my freakin’ forehead. I saw that creature rise in up the mirror, steadying itself for a killing blow, when I went all “Curly from the Three Stooges” on him, flinging him off of my head as I screamed like a little kid, a shriek that would frighten a scream queen.

I have a feeling that it is in hiding…waiting for the right moment.

Looking Forward to the Presidential Debates?

I know I am! I’m going to have a frosty beverage in my hand during what I assume will be a spectacle of such calamity that Ronald Reagan and Richard Nixon will be rolling over in their graves. One candidate makes Nixon’s offenses look petty and the other has enough ego to make a Kardashian look humble. Only in America! I dig it.

As for the debates, I’m all about allowing profanity to be a major part of this one. It’s just too good a match-up not to have them calling each other names. I know that the left will stack the moderators like they always do to make the Republican look bad. I wasn’t a Romney fan in 2012, but I did think it was unfair that he had to debate Obama and Candy Crowly at the same time. We all know the news media wants Hillary to win. Let’s just admit it and move on. Trump just has to deal with that reality.

As for moderators, I suggest we use retired pro wrestlers with a gift for smack talk. If Macho Man Randy Savage was still alive I could see him throwing Slim Jim’s to the live audience while he growls out questions to the candidates. Since he’s gone, let’s use Ric Flair for the first one. The Rock would be a good choice for the second debate. “Why did you make us look like a bunch of candy asses in Benghazi, Hillary?” I can see him raising that damn eyebrow after he asked that hard hitting question. The third debate…who else other than Hulk Hogan, fresh off being fired for racism. “How high you gonna build that wall, brother?”

What’s on your reading list for 2016?

I’ve started my 2016 reading challenge on Goodreads by pledging to read a minimum of 50 books this year. This is the first week of the year and I’m hoping to finish Lost At Sea by Jon Ronson. I also about halfway through Slaughterhouse Five, a classic by Kurt Vonnegut.

I recently purchased a historical book about the Trail of Tears and rise and fall of the Cherokee nation. I’m looking forward to getting into that as well as working on my own writing projects.

What’s on your reading list? Feel free to connect with me on Goodreads or comment below. I’m always looking for something that is a bit out of the usual kind of books I like to read. Last year I delved into some works from what is called “The Forbidden Bookshelf.”

I’d be honored if you’d add one of my books to your reading list this year. Start with Pot of Gold (unless you’re just a die hard horror fan and want to try one of my horror novels). Click on the link to buy for your Kindle or stop by my Buy A Book page.

Pot of Gold Cover

Famous Last Words

“I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis.”  Allegedly the last words of Humphrey Bogart before he died of cancer in 1957.

Welcome to my web page, Cyrus Alderwood, author of novels,Final Doosh Cover novellas and short stories about adventure, life, love, laughter, and other assorted topics of filth and ignorance. Thanks for stopping by to hang out. Grab yourself an adult beverage, put your feet up, and stay a while. Maybe we’ll come up with a wretched scheme to take over the world while we’re here.

You will find my work available on all online book retailers including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, the Apple Store and probably a few others I am not aware of.  If you’ve read one of my books, thanks! I appreciate the hell out of that. If not, get ready for a side splitting adventure if you want to read one of my comedies. Those are:

A Man CallPot of Gold Covered Doosh

Pot of Gold

If you’re not into the whole laughter thing and you live somewhere out there in the Twilight Zone then please check out:

Bedtime Stories For the Terminally Afraid

Kick back on the couch late at night for that one and prepare to piss your pants with this short story collection from the horror genre. Rumor has it that this book has actually brought peace to certain parts of the Middle East. I can’t verify this as I’d probably not survive the trip if I went there to try.

Comedy or horror? Which is it, Cyrus? Pick one! Nah, I’m in my prime. I write all kinds of different stuff. So check back often. I’ll give you updates on my current works in progress and fill your brain with other useless information.

 

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