Black Friday–A Great American Frightfest!!
In my humble opinion, there is nothing more horrific than attempting to enter a Walmart anywhere in the country the day after Thanksgiving. Hell, it’s bad enough trying to shop there during the middle of the week in June, much less during the holidays! It’s full of trolls, demons, and people that still think the mullet is a cool look. Don’t believe me? Or maybe you just love Walmart so much that you hate to admit it.
If you have to venture into that pit of Hades this weekend make sure that you’ve got everything squared up with the big man upstairs before you try your luck. If I were you, I’d enter slowly and keep a bottle of holy water in one hand. I also recommend that you keep a Bible handy, and a copy of the Necronomicon if you can find one. A replica will do. I imagine the original is probably held safely and securely in Al Franken’s secret lair, right next to the missing Hillary Clinton emails and hard evidence of him groping a few dozen women.
In fact, I hope America will make a new holiday tradition this year during the Black Friday event. Everyone has a cell phone with a decent camera. Take photos, lots of them! Everywhere you hear shouting and argueing over the last T.V. on the shelf, the hottest X-Box game, or that last tube of PreperationH, run to that scene and take a photo. Hell, take some video! There’s nothing as satisfying as sitting on my ass on Black Friday scouring the television news channels and watching skirmishes happening in every state at the Walmart closest to a trailer park. This is the only time during the year that a white person and a black person can literally beat the shit out of each other without it being made into a political and racial issue that runs at least twice during every hourly news cycle. It is the only day that people can attack those of another race and NOT be called a racist for it! So, let’s have at it, folks! I’m tired of hearing about Russia and Hillary and how much Colin K. hates America on such a slow news day.
St. Patrick’s Day
I think back to some of the fun times at the ol’ Sunset Pub in Cincy between 2002-2008, lots of beer drinking, darts, shuffleboard, and a couple of rednecks always over in the corner playing billiards. One of them called everyone he met “cat daddy!” It was kind of funny. Doug hopping from table to table, the social butterfly, telling dirty jokes while his wife rolled her eyes at him.
I remember those times on this St. Patrick’s Day because me and a gathering of friends and neighbors closed that bar down on this very holiday so many times that we lost count over the years. And it puts me in the mood to crack open a cold one and wrap up the first draft of my next fictional work, Tales From the Sunset Pub. Cheers!
Remember When MTV Played Rock Videos?
There’s nothing like going to a concert and paying way too much for a ticket and getting a mediocre show at best. It also reminded me of times when the rock shows were more like a party, the ticket price for general admission was $19.50 and if you got there early enough you were pretty darn close to the stage to see you favorite bands. Yep, that was the 1980’s when there was always a tour going on…a headlining act and usually two other glam bands that opened up for them. The show would get kicked off at 7:30 and wouldn’t end before 11:00.
I remember seeing a lot of Hair Bands (of Glam Metal, if you prefer) back in the 80’s and early 90’s before MTV killed rock and roll. So, I thought I would put together a list of my top 35 Hair Bands of that era. I’m sure I’ll leave some out. But here’s my list of personal favorites. No particular order.
35. Def Leppard
31. Motley Crue
29. Dirty Looks
25. Bon Jovi (Not a real fan, but Wanted Dead or Alive is bad ass enough to get them on the list)
22. White Loion
21. Lynch Mob
20. Enuff Z’ Nuff
18. Britny Fox
15. Shark Island
13. Quiet Riot
12. Lita Ford
9. Twisted Sister
8. Skid Row
7. Great White
6. L.A. Guns
5. Faster Pussycat
LET’S TALK T.V./NETFLIX SHOWS
Seen the new Ghostbusters yet? I have. For a few remarks about that see my blog here at CyrusAlderwood.com. Now, let’s get into some damn fine viewing recommendations.
I used to NEVER get interested in anything that came on television. I absolutely hate anything in the reality TV genre (except that pretty blonde hostess on American Ninja Warrior). I did watch The Walking Dead for the first four or five seasons but I got bored with that show. It seemed like recycling the same season over and over with different bad guys while they fought off the zombies. I don’t blame them, they have a zillion fans! Milk that damn teet while the gettin’ is good. Hell, I’m a good capitalist. But sometimes you know a show just has to end or it is nothing more than a soap opera.
I am enjoying Zoo on CBS this year. I read the book by James Patterson. Good stuff, although the show is going a bit of a different route. That’s good! Keeps it interesting. If you haven’t seen it, it is only Season 2. You can catch up by binge watching the show OnDemand or something. Also, Preacher on AMC is really good so far. It’s still Season 1. This show (like the Walking Dead) is based on a graphic novel series that I read a few years ago.
Let’s jump over to Netflix and avoid my insatiable viewing appetite for Big Cat Diary on Animal Planet. Netflix is now home to one of my favorite shows of all time, Longmire. This is like a cop show meets Northern Exposure (if you remember that show from the 1990’s). Great acting, great episodes that feature Lou Diamond Phillips (you remember him from Young Guns) and Katee Sack Sackhoff (a real hottie with a badge and gun, she can kick my ass anytime). Great show, Season 4 coming up, go watch it. If you only check out one show I suggest, make it this one.
Also on Netflix Hemlock Grove caught my attention. I’m at the end of Season 2 now and still captivated. Really great acting and a plot/storyline that is a bit out there near the Twilight Zone somewhere. I dig it. Also, Salem…I’m at the end of Season 1 on this one.
Back to the big 3 networks…NBC has Aquarius. This show is a must see! Set in the late 60’s, David Duchovney and a very good lineup past the one name I’m way to familiar with (an X-Files nerd here!).
Take some time to check out these shows, I think you’ll like them, especially if you’ve read some of my more suspenseful work. Enjoy!
Sometimes Football Just Doesn’t Make Sense
I don’t mean the game. I mean the decisions that you see teams make. It seems like that if you beat the shit out of your girlfriend, threaten people in social media, smoke weed every day and fail your drug tests, use sterioids, beat your kids, or be a drunk in public on a regular basis then you have job security in the NFL. Johnny Manziel was back in court after being drunk again, or beating up his girlfriend in traffic or something like that. The Browns cut him. My guess is that he’ll be on someone’s roster in the future.
If Tim Tebow got caught with cocaine and two porn stars tomorrow he’d have a job by the end of the week.
Nerd Alert—Fantasy Football Post
(Dec. 11, 2015)
Just a blurb about this stuff—I have been in the same fantasy football league with some pals from Cincinnati since 2001. I was always a football fan and sort of got into this league in a half-assed sort of way. But it has been a lot of fun ever since I started. I pay attention to games that I would normally give less than half a crap about. Lions vs. Jaguars??? What a waste of time…not really if you have Allen Robinson as your starting WR or Matthew Stafford as your team QB. A word of advice for all you fantasy football players…never have a member of the Browns on your team.
In our league we have a few fun rules. The person who wins the league championship gets to name the last place team for the following season. That’s pretty cool…and slightly disgusting considering some of the names that have been tossed around. Also, if you draft a player that ends up getting arrested during the season then you owe a case of beer to the league. That makes drafting Bengals, Raiders, and Browns even more risky. I didn’t feel sorry for the bastard that had Aaron Hernandez from the Patriots on his team. Sum’bitch deserved it. I think you should owe at least two cases of beer if the crime involves a homicide.
So, it’s playoff time in our leage. The top four teams square off this weekend. The two remaining teams play for the league title next weekend. After losing a ton of games at the beginning of the season, I won six straight to barely make the playoffs. I’m just hoping that I get to name the last place team. It’s the little pleasures in life I live for. So if you’re reading this why don’t you send up a prayer or send out some good vibes (or whatever the hell you do) to the ol’ Pork Chop Express this weekend.
**Update: Got my ass kicked in both rounds of the playoffs. Finished in 4th place. I think that kind of sucks. The other three that did better don’t feel the way I do about the situation.
I’m going to admit something here that is a bit stupid. I love conspiracy theories and oddities. You name it! If there is a documentary on it I’m pretty sure I’ll carve out time from my day to watch it. It doesn’t matter what it is. Loch Ness! Bigfoot. The government hiding crash debris from UFO’s. If there is a show about ghosts and hauntings I’m all over it. In fact, I had a lot of fun with conspiracies and oddities in my book Pot of Gold.
I buy a lot of books for my Kindle, and try to support indie authors as much as possible. But one of my guilty pleasures is reading UFO stuff. Recently I bought The Uncensored Truth About UFO’s by Edward Ruppett who was one of the first military researchers for Project Blue Book. If you haven’t heard of Project Blue Book then Google it. Then enjoy the journey through the information as you go from skeptic to “Damn, it all could be true,” like me. I don’t buy in to many conspiracy theories and oddities, but sometime you just have to scratch your head and say, “maybe.”
Elvis Lives! Have a great weekend.